IT WASN’T ME


On 12th January this year, I was summoned to an LC meeting to defend myself against allegations that I was using married women to satisfy my manly needs.

It all began when one husband claimed that his woman repeatedly asked him to do her the way ‘Hyena’ does it. Another of the allegations was that a married woman was seen washing my clothes in my compound with just a towel wrapped around her waist. 

You see, when I moved from Rubaga after the landlord’s wife saga, I kept a low profile while in Katanga. But as fate has it, all the bad things have to happen to no other person apart from ‘Hyena.’ A married in the neighborhood picked interest in me.

She was a smashing babe called Mulongo, mother of two. When she couldn’t control her fantasies, she told one of my friends Mukyala Seka about it.

So Mukyala Seka came and told me how Mulongo was so much in love with my hairy body and that whenever she looked at me, she felt like going to pee.

What surprised me is that all these women had all they needed and I wondered why they had to think about poor Hyena.

One thing led to the other and three months later we met in a lodge somewhere in mulago. I had eagerly planned to give her a shaft she will never forget.

When we got to the room, I immediately rolled down her panties and realized that she had overheated. She began screaming like she was dying the next minute.

Her bums kept morale-boosting me as I used my natural cane to administer justice to her. A few minutes after our bad manners, we rested.

I then hit her in all possible angles, “oh ayi ssebo onzita,” (oh sir you’re killing me) she mourned. “Ffa bansibe,” (you die and I get arrested) I told her well knowing no woman can die of passion. 

My rod had been practically jailed inside her. It was hurting a bit but I enjoyed the pain. After 15 minutes, I realized I was not anywhere near to finishing.

I then begged her to release my rod. “Did we come here to rest?” she asked while pushing herself to lean against the wall. She must have felt so itchy because she started twisting her waist.

I felt a strange sensation grip me, which made me puke out lots of yoghurt sending her into wild screams. 

In about 10 minutes, her waters run dry as she begged me to pull out but wapi I was on a mission to make her run crazy. You see, before we went to the lodge, she had bragged about making me drink a whole jerry can of water after the game.

Now it was her begging me to let her first rest. About 15 minutes later, she began acting funny, squeezing her boobs, scratching her body like she had taken quinine, “Hyena sii kudira mbonerede nsonyiwa ssebo taata nfa,”( Hyena I will never come back, I have had enough, forgive me dear), she screamed.

Before she could throw more words at me, her pot released a lot of juices, her head hit the wall and she blacked out right away. At first, I panicked thinking she had died but checked her heart, she was still breathing heavily.

I called her name several times but she had really blacked out completely with a lot of water flowing out of her body.

I cooled down, two hours she had not come around, so I poured water on her body that’s when she erupted, “you are still a kid at this age?”I asked her “Hyena you used herbs, I swear you did it, I never thought some things like this could ever happen to me,” she said amidst tears.

“Come close for more” I said. “No Hyena my gu thing is hurting” “But I am not yet satisfied,” I said. From that day, I became her secret husband.

As you know women, they never keep the good news to themselves, she told Mukyala Seka that I am a sex master and how she did not believe she asked me verbally to teach her how to do it.

I swore to her that I had no idea about it and she surprised me when she told me everything unedited. From then on, I tried to keep a distance from Mukyala Seka.

Until one rainy day at about 7:00 am when she knocked at my door claiming she had a message for me. I opened the door and went back to bed. “What if Seka finds you here? I asked. “Eh bamupima?” she began telling me of how she wasn’t really in love with Seka. 

Her body scent made my whopper stand and I asked her for some pot. “No Hyena I gave you Mulongo,” she said. I moved my hands and felt her thing; she slapped me saying “never do that again.” I stealthily removed my shorts and climbed her.

She tried to fight back but my hand managed to go beyond the border. She kept on slapping me telling me to stop; I sat on her as she showered more slaps on me.

I was putting on a condom when she swore upon her dead body that I wouldn’t enter her. Trust your Hyena I managed to pull her panties aside and slid in my big whopper.

“Amaziima Hyena ndeka nawe, nakuwa Mulongo kati nze onkoleraki munange ebyo sibyagala nvako,” (Hyena leave me I gave you Mulongo, what else do you want with me) she said.

“But you told me you wanted to learn what the Banyankore do best,” I reminded her. “No I don’t just, just leave me,” she insisted. “So you are enjoying me?” I asked.

“Neda sinyumirwa jayo ekintu kyo kinuma Hyena sijanakubisikinayo,” (No, I am not enjoying anything take away your gu thing I will not even bother to sing for you) she said.

I just moved my hand and carried her high, “nvako nawe nze nkoye oh ah ahaa ayi lekano nzigyemu empale,” (leave me alone I am tired oh ah ahaa ayi okay let me first remove my panties) she said.

I let her remove her panties and in a flash, she removed a towel and placed it under her bums.

I told her to put it back but she insisted, “Njakukulopa ewa Mulongo nti wa nkute,” (I will tell Mulongo that you raped me) she said while twisting her waist and caressing me.

“Hyena you have bad manners you should have begged me properly, “bwotyo awo owoma sebbo kola no mpola mpola,” (like that like that sir, okay do me slowly), she said. Shortly after that, I finished.

I locked my lips with hers kissing her better than her husband. Her waist became uneasy twisting in different directions, “sebbo lekeraawo wagaziwa bulala” (sir please stop from there you are beyond huge) she screamed.

She spoke of things I had never heard of before then she finished and screamed “banange nswadde nze,” (oh my dears I am ashamed of myself).

We rested as she said, “Hyena tickle me like you tickled Mulongo.” She thought I would never do that but when I started she was like, “oh thank you sir,” she said.

Although we never had more sex, from that day onwards we became good neighbors’. Then one Sunday morning, Mulongo came for serious business, we did it from 7:00 am to 9:00 am. She then started washing my clothes with just a towel wrapped around her.

Somebody tipped her husband and he nabbed us. I fought him, beating him so badly but I was overpowered by a gang that had accompanied him. We were taken to the LC where I was accused of numerous crimes.

The poor man cried out saying, “my wife calls me that fools name whenever I make love to her.” Before I could claim my defense the wife swung up shouting, “its Hyena, I love you, not that stupid ka Hyena.”

The LC ordered me to lay down for some strokes of the cane and later pay 30,000 to the gentlemen. I was then given a week to vacate the zone.

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