I sacrificed two chubby angels on Eid Adha. At this point, I don’t know if it’s Covid19, the government or satan to blame for the weird things happening around me. But thing is, I’ve seen so many unbelievable things since March 2020. From women begging men to bone them, to asking for threesomes, my tenant’s senior four daughters writing me a love letter and so much more.
After, Eid lunch, I crawled out of home on the pretext of giving hajati and her visitors space to chat. But truth was, I wanted to nail the neighbour. I had been trying to communicate with her, but she had dodged all my advances.
On seeing me pop out of the gate, she hurried into her house to avoid talking with me. So, I decided to go look for other victims. “Let me go bone Angela saloon,” I thought only to receive a call from Sandra which interrupted my plans.
“Thank you for not inviting me for Eid!” she cursed. That was followed by accusations of using and dumping her. “Hyena, you used to call me every day, but after you got what you wanted you now don’t want to know,” she said.
As she bubbled, I was silently saying to myself, “this one is poor, she just wants to squeeze money out of me.”
Because, yes I had boned her three times, but it was stressful, it was like forcing her. She was so cold towards me, she didn’t allow me to do my favourite techniques.
After our third meeting, she had stopped picking my calls prompting me to think, she was no longer interested in me. So, to avoid disturbing her peace, I stopped calling her. But nowhere she was accusing me of all that.
In response, I told her how I had stopped calling when I noticed cold reception towards me. An accusation she categorically denied. That she just had a lot of problems those days.
She concluded by inviting me over to her place to go sacrifice her animal.
“Maybe today, she won’t hold back!” I thought as I rushed to her place in Makindye. I dropped by KFC took along yummy food for two which I thought we were to eat at halftime. But on arriving, I was shocked to find her equally chubby friend Rehema, who works with some grass-root NGO fighting for human rights.
At first, I thought Rehema aka Rema was about to leave, but they ended up eating the fast food I had brought. Prompting me to order online for some more. By 6pm, Rehema, who lives in Bweyogerere had not left. Meaning she was likely to spend the night in Sandra’s one-room crib.
So when Rehema stepped outside, I asked Sandra if Rehema was to leave or we going to a lodge. In response, Sandra asked, “can’t you handle two belles?” then said, I looked strong.
On hearing that, I flashed her my eyes only to find hers fixed on mwah. “Do you have stamina?” Sandra asked. Then told me how she wanted to make up for all the hurt I went through by treating me to a Menajahtwa. “Have you ever done it?” she asked.
Despite having done it like thirty times, my answer was an emphatic NO. By and by, Rehema returned. “I was here telling sweetheart, we are going to treat him to a menajahwa, but he is chickening,” Sandra said. To which Rehema’s quick answer was, “maybe he doesn’t like me.”
Only for Sandra to turn to me and ask if I didn’t like her friend. I replied telling both of them how I was used to being teased. I promised to play along and in the end, I was to win.
“Now what do you want me to do?” I asked.
“Ooooh….he doesn’t even know what to do,” Rehema bubbled. Both laughed.
“Yes, I don’t know,” I said.
Sandra responded by suggesting she puts a movie that would show me what to do.
And so, a porn movie was played in which a black dude was boning two belles. “Okay….Ooooh! I get it. Now whom do I start with?” I asked. But before either could answer, the food I had ordered online was delivered.
I thought the teasing topic had ended, but on returning they picked off where they had stopped. “Start with her,” Sandra pointed to Rehema. And I was like, “madam remove the knicker.” Which I didn’t think Rehema would do. But she removed it.
There is something magical in knickers. Each time, I watch a belle remove it, electricity flows through me. How about you? Well, on this particular evening, a cool breeze swept through me on seeing Rehema’s knicker. “They may be serious,” I thought.
She threw it at me prompting another electric wave to sweep through me. “So you’re serious,” I yapped. We all laughed. After which, I looked at Rehema and asked what style she wanted me to start with the answer to which was any.
But Sandra jumped in saying, “start with this.” She grabbed the remote forwarded to a scene in which a guy was licking a chick’s ice cream.
“Do you want that?” I asked Rehema , who replied saying every woman loves it.
I collapsed to my knees crawled over to Rehema and got busy. Focusing on the happy button, got Rehema electrified. And like Bad Black said in one of her videos, nothing sexcites belles like being eaten, Rehema was soon yodeling in tongues.
A lot of energy brewed inside her. She was about to explode when she screamed “Ooooh…..he is good!”
It was so loud neighbours may have heard.
Sandra erupted into laugher then asked if she was better than her. “Yes and No,” Rehema answered.
“Wait until you see his animal,” Sandra yapped.
Now like they said, “enkula y’omutwe yekuwa ensanirira.” By the look of Rehema’s plump pimped animal, it would be naïve not to start with ak’embarara so I got busy. “Bakutuse!”s Sandra cheered.
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After doing Rehema, I went for Sandra. Supu was still dripping, but Sandra didn’t kwenyanyala at all. I worked her majestically until I hit her G – spot. I fired in her and could have rested, but I wanted to show these mommas, I was strong so, I turned Rehema for a goatee.
By the time, I was through, she had farted thrice, claimed several onzitas and twice begged me to let her drink some water. Of course, my radiator had several times over heated as well.
Around midnight, the two belles confided in me how they had been lesbians since their senior three, which was seven years ago. Rehema even bragged of how they had members at all levels of society.
“There are even lesbians in parliament, government and everywhere,” she said.
On my part, I thanked Sandra for sharing this experience with me. I rewarded each with cash to buy a dress, matching knickers, a handbag and shoes. They promised to invite me for some more any time.
The following , at 11am, as I was moving to Nateete, Mama Kevin, my neighbor who had dodged me the previous day called and cursed me for boning her friend Mrs. Dennis. I couldn’t help it but say, “okyabubira abasajja when other women are treating them to threesomes…..bino byansi byakuffa kuleka.”
Up to now, am still wondering why some women don’t like sharing whereas others find it normal and necessary. Soon, I will tell you of the first time I had a threesome.
Till then, I remain yours truly, Mr. Hyena.