It is not good to blow your own horn, but there are moments when you feel you have done enough, therefore, making it inevitable.
So, before I go any further, let me emulate the likes of Bebe Cool, Bobi Wine and Jose Chameleone, who have styled themselves with a variety of ranks.
From today on wards, besides being a sex pest, I’m also the best Whopper service provider in East Africa and looking forward to conquering central and Southern Africa.
Now, let me kick off my tale. By 5Pm on October 16th, I had swung three babes excluding Yasmine. I drilled my beautiful wife’s oil wells for about two hours that morning and by the time I was through with her, she had exploded more than three times. She couldn’t hide the joy as she served me a fantastic breakfast that morning and even recited good luck Dhuwas for me.
The previous evening, Mama Rhoda had called me to service her Honey Pot but I’d promised to do it the following morning. So from home, armed with CDs and adorning my Kanzu, I went by her home.
By the way, it was a Friday. So, I was dressed like an Arab Sheikh in a milk-white Kanzu with a turban on my head. Unfortunately, a few hours to my anticipated pleasure, I aborted the mission because her sister-in-law had paid her a visit.
I left her home very disappointed and diverted from my usual path to avoid bumping into Mukyala chairman who would hijack me for a chaw.
That was where I met my first victim, Miss Bisambi Nabunya. Well, it is not her real name, I nicknamed her so because of her big thighs and bums. On seeing me, she was as happy as if she had seen one of Allah’s angels. “As Saalam Aleikum, Hajji,” she said, before inviting me for a cup of tea inside her house. While taking tea, I launched my manifesto, swearing heaven and earth, how I wanted her to be the one and only woman in my life, despite the fact that we’d parted some time back. Instead of replying as expected, she accused me of being heartless because I had refused to buy her at least a Shs30k phone.
On hearing that, I immediately pulled out my double sim-card Samsung Duos, removed my lines and handed it to her saying, “Hope that is cleared now.” She collapsed to the floor and thanked me. Without warning, I knocked her down and started off with surfing her boobs. “No, Hyena. We can’t do it from my hubby’s house,” she said, but I told her, I didn’t mind. In the sixteenth minute, my head was already down. To my surprise, she wasn’t wearing knickers. “No knickers, why?” I asked, to which she replied: “It is too early for knickers… it is just 8:00am.” After getting her in the mood, she bowed down to my advances, but warned me against entering her without a CD. I promptly pulled out a CD pack, raised the Kanzu and unleashed what my papa gave me, my monster Cobra.
“Banange yo gu-thing is already big and stiff??! Naye Hyena you’re ever ready!”she surprisingly said. “Shiaaa, which bigness is there naaawe?” I asked, while wrapping it with rubber. I then laid her on a table which was in the sitting room, before entering her Wetland.
“Please be quick, my husband will be back soon. He has gone to pay the Umeme bill,” she said. In response, I turned her for a Standing Rear Insertion. I slowly speared her as if time wasn’t against me. Her boobs and most of her belly were almost on the floor. I then switched to Rabbit style and sped until I felt sweet waves hit my nervous system, forcing me to come. “Ohhh woman you are very sweet,” I groaned. Instead of retaliating with sexual praises, she said, “And you will be beaten to death if you don’t leave soon.” That was when I regained my senses and remembered I was in a danger zone. I took off and went to my shop. By 11am, I was feeling sleepy. So, I decided to close the shop and take a rest in Abwooli’s room behind, not knowing that she had other plans for me. Abwooli joined me in bed under the pretext of giving me a nice Kaboozi. During the KB, she confessed her perpetual love for me. “But I’m married, and besides you are my cousin,” I furiously said. I thought that she would run off but wapi, she instead grabbed the Wire and threatened to squash it if I refused to service her. “You are not my cousin anymore,” she said moments later after buffeting on it. I wanted to fight her but the moment my Lollipop landed in her mouth, it started rioting like it hadn’t tasted its beloved Dish for years. I then heard something whispering to me that,” she is a distant cousin. So Wiring her is the best option.” I pulled out a CD, sheathed the rock-hard gu-thing and ordered her to take control of her pleasure.
“But it will suffocate,” I said, as Abwooli moved to sit on it. People, slim women really have hidden secrets, they have the largest Honey Pots. Abwooli’s Sugar Bowl swallowed my entire Wire and almost took in the balls as well. She rained praises on me as she moved up and down the Cobra, like a gay calf. In the 8th minute, I proposed doing it while standing. I took her in my hands and my desire to do it standing led us to a nearby sink as we moved around the room, bouncing up and down. She wrapped her bu-legs around my back. By then, her shaftability index was beyond normal and she was like a wild ox on heat. “Hyena please, I’m dying…assshhhh…ohhhh it’s so sweeeeeet,” She moaned. I teased her by slotting in the head piece and bringing it out until she grabbed it and took it in herself. I went on drilling her until we had double happiness. However, as I was about to finish, I felt dizzy and it seemed to me as if the world was spinning. I tried to get up but I failed and passed out. I remember Abwooli shaking and asking me saying, “Hyena, what has happened?? Wake up. Are you okay?” She must have fled the room thereafter, because I stayed like that until 6:30pm. When I woke up, I was forced to drink two litres of milk and two others of juice. As my body regained its strength, I got a call from Florence, some ka school girl who has been detoothing me. She was in tears, saying that she had lost her school fees and wanted me to lend her 100k, vowing to give me whatever I wanted in return. I opened up my mind and accused her of so many crimes against my love for her. The babe agreed to give me what I was dying for or what had killed me. I rushed to Kasubi, straight to Zaidi’s home where Florence joined me. What we did was just a story of another day, for I ended up getting admitted to Mulago hospital and put on drip for four days. Doctors ordered me to desist from drilling babes for some time, because my body could literally not handle any more.
Till then, I remain yours Truly, Mr. Hyena.