HOUSEWIFE! Maid baits Mr. Hyena, survives Luzira by a whisker

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‘Housewife’ is a fancy word for house girls, because many of them start out as maids and end up as House wives. It is a public secret that men lie a lot in order to devour belles and to please them, be it the corporate class ladies, married women or maids.

Ladies on the other hand lie because they are natural liars. They lie with their bodies, lie with their yummy booties and lie with words from their tongues.I remember, when I was still renting in Mbuya sometime back, I was fooled by a maid who made me think she was the lady of the house. Whereas most homes employ toddlers to work as house maids, this particular home had a sexy belle in her 20s as their maid. One day, as I was retiring from a failed bonking mission, then I saw the belle walking out of the gate. She was wearing a nice red dress which matched her handbag.

The chic was brown just like the baby she was carrying. I walked behind her watching her booty doing the ‘kikankane’ thing. Something inside me, told me that God had not caused me to see the belle for optical nutrition only, but wanted me to feed with my muscles and veins too on behalf of every other man.

Anyways, I hurried up to the babe and said hello. “Nga you have a beautiful baby, she looks just like you,” I said, trying to start a conversation with her. In a response, she thanked me for appreciating her child’s beauty. That gave me the opportunity to inform that if I got a belle to produce for me such beautiful children, I would be the happiest man on earth. “You will get,” she said. I beat around the bush for about 10minutes and then introduced myself as none other than Mr. Hyena. The belle told me her name was Rose. “Indeed, you are a rose,” I said and thereafter proceeded to confess my love for her.

I lied to her that I have seen her on several occasions, and each time I get closer, my central nervous system is electrified in a sweet way. I, thereafter, swore my dying love for her and promised to follow her terms and conditions to prevent her husband from finding out about our love. In response, Rose asked me why I loved her. “I want to worship your beauty,” was my reply.

She then accused me of having a lot of words. I defended myself by blaming it on her beauty, and escorted her all way to the market where she bought groceries. As she bought the groceries, Rose said that I looked like a married man, which I denied because I wasn’t married at the time. “What If I got to your home and find there a wife?” she asked. In response, I told her that if she found a wife at my place, then she shouldn’t accept my proposal.

On hearing that, she asked where I lived. At the time, I lived in a flat not so far from the market, so we walked over. “If she agrees to enter my house, I will ask her for a peck,” I thought as we walked. Upon pointing at the flat in which I lived, Rose was surprised. “Are you serious you live there?” she asked. She went on to ask whether I lived with an uncle or a brother.

I assured her that I lived there alone. It was at this point that I begged her to briefly enter my crib. We later entered into the flat as I carried the baby.Those days, I worked with a popular clearing firm through which I got a lot of electronics from clients I helped to dodge taxes. On reaching my crib, I served her soda which was always plenty due to many chics that visited my ‘love clinic’. As she sipped the soda, I begged her to give me some remembrance peck.

She replied; “Shhhhiiiaaaa; I can’t do that the first time we are meeting! She added that she wasn’t one of those easy to lay babes. Despite the confidence, her voice sounded so naïve. Eager to get lucky with the belle I thought was a super-rich man’s wife, I pleaded, begging her for just a little peck. In response, she ordered me to look at her. I looked at her with my hungry eyes. She however went on to say that I looked liked a notorious player. Before I could defend myself, she said in a soft voice, “Just a peck?” and I was like; “Yes, nothing else.”

And so our mandibles locked. At first, she only gave a beak, yet I wanted the real thing. I was forced to rove my tongue into cavity and our tongues wrestled. We pecked for about three minutes as the baby looked on, wondering what we were doing. My pen rioted to full throttle. I assumed Rose was excited too and I moved my hands stealthily to feel her constitution. When she didn’t protest, I thought she was ready to play the constitutional amendment game with the kabwejungira! I then moved my hand down to feel the booty, only for her to put up some oppositional forces. “No Mr. Hyena, we are not going to do it today,” she said. I responded saying, “Of course no,” I further told her how I wanted to only peck her constitution with adoration and appreciation of her beauty, that made Rose look at me with ‘You are weird’ face.

She pardoned me for my weirdness, only for me to confidently ask her for the same thing. But she suspected that I was tricking her so as to amend or touch it. I swore that I would stop at touching it. “You don’t have to even remove the cover,” I assured her. I asked her to let me amend the constitution not because she loved me but because I loved her so much, despite the fact that we had just met.

Rose soon opened up to me and allowed me to share her constitution, with or without the consent of the voters. And for sure I amended it to the best of my abilities without knowing I was devouring a maid.We continued meeting after our first encounter. Our affair went on for about three months during all the time Rose managed to fool me into thinking that she was the lady of the house.

During that time, I tried every possible trick to squeeze dime out of her thinking that she was a loaded Momma but all in vain. She was always broke. Anyway, it all ended when I was arrested by her employers one day, who demanded that I produce Rose, because she had stolen millions of money from their bedroom and spies in the neighborhood had told them that they have always seen her at my flat. Hadn’t it been for the powerful connections I had, I would still be rotting in Luzira now.

Till then, I remain yours truly, Mr. Hyena.

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