Sex is one of the trickiest things to get right. No matter what Pornhub and Channing Tatum rom-coms may tell us, hitting that spot and enjoying mutual ecstasy is a massive challenge.
We’ve already crowdsourced some pointers from women telling men exactly where they’re going wrong between the sheets which, as you can imagine, caused a little bit of a stir.
But while many of the responses she received and shared divided readers, what about the other side of the coin? What are some things that women do that men can’t stand?
We took to various forums, social media and Reddit threads and found some male responses which we haven’t altered.
Brace yourselves, you may disagree with some of these but they have come from the mouths – well, fingers – of men across the world!
- ‘Scratching and biting – both can be hot but sometimes girls take it too far.’
- ‘Taking no initiative whatsoever – if you never initiate, how do we know when you’re in the mood? Just grab us by the shirt/hand/package.’
- ‘Faking it – we can tell and it’s never going to get you better sex.’
- ‘Please take care of your naughty bits. Sometimes going down on you at night is kinda rough.’
- ‘Pushing my hands away because of confidence. I’ve not settled for you, I want you. Maybe I love your belly or love handles.’
- ‘Telling me my dick is huge. My ego doesn’t need it and I’ve seen enough porn to know it’s in the average spectrum so I will just take it as sarcastic.’
- ‘Just lying there and giving nothing back. I will stop mid way if there’s no reciprocation. It shouldn’t be a f***ing job.’
- ‘Being weird about sperm. Unless you really can’t handle the taste of semen, just take a shot and you’ll be like a f***ing saint to us.’
- ‘Not knowing what you like. Learn how to have fun with yourself. We’re not mind readers.’
- ‘Acting like sex is a favour.’
- ‘Being silent. I don’t need a wailing porn star but SOME feedback would be good.’
- ‘Sucking on the balls too hard. ‘Nuff said.’
- ‘Never, ever let a man see your period panties, even if they’re clean. We can never forget the stains.’
- ‘Falling asleep on our arm makes our arm fall asleep.’
- ‘Administering hand jobs as if you’re trying to take my penis away.’
- ‘If it’s going to be a double feature, please allow a five minute intermission. Starting round two straight away feels tickly and gross.’
- ‘Please keep your cat off the bed when we’re f***ing.’
- ‘Giggling then saying “it’s nothing” when I ask what’s funny.’
- ‘Having the lights off. I want to see!’
- ‘Toilet paper crumbs’
- ‘Trying to talk dirty too hard. It makes me laugh and lose my boner.’
- ‘Women who don’t understand that according to SCIENCE, men need to fall asleep after sex.’
- ‘Getting cuddly with legs that haven’t been shaved for a few days.’
- ‘Being my best mate first. I thought it would work. And now I miss her.’
Talk about fussy! Some guys just don’t seem like they’ll ever be pleased.