Did you watch the World Cup this summer? If you didn’t, it’s OK. I’m here to tell you, in case you’ve had your head under a rock for the last month, that Germany won. Sorry, Argentina.
It was a long arduous summer for football, or as the Americans call it “soccer,” fans, and because at the end of the game it was all about winning, LELO, a luxury sex toy brand, decided that they wanted to see what countries are winning in the bedroom, too.
Of course, based on the U.S.’s impressive, although short-lived time in the series, it’s not really boding well for us.
The survey of 35,000 individuals between the ages of 21 and 55, from 30 countries, came up with some pretty interesting, if not, moderately surprising results, about the sex practices and habits of those around the globe.
Although they might be known for being crybabies at the moment, Brazilians are definitely not lacking in the bedroom.
So, let’s break this down, shall we?
While the global average of sex, including foreplay, is only 32.5 minutes, the majority of those surveyed (79 percent), are pretty satisfied with their sex life.
Great! The two countries where the highest amount of sexual satisfaction can be found is in England and Greece, followed by Japan to round out the top three sex-happy corners of the world. Unfortunately, for Chile, they’re last on the list.
But, as I mentioned, the Brazilians, in all their glorious beauty (and tears), do take the cake in the bedroom by having the most stamina. While the global average for sex is just over 30 minutes, 34 percent of Brazilians claim their average is 46 minutes or longer.
In contrast, on the other side of the globe, the Aussies don’t have such a stellar reputation. For them, 10 percent of those surveyed said their average duration for sex was — wait for it — 10 minutes. I blame vegemite. Have you tried that stuff? Yes, it’s to blame.
Getting back to Europe, the Swiss and Greek really like to get around. Twenty-six percent of those from Switzerland and 25 percent of those from Greece have said to have slept with more than 20 people.
It’s not exactly Samantha Jones type of numbers, but it’s pretty high up there — however, practice makes perfect. In keeping with their reputation, 75 percent of the French admitted to cheating.
However, the Belgians and Australians (maybe because of their track record?), are the least likely to stray and look for sex elsewhere.
When it came to those willing to admit they faked it, that award when to Colombians with 70 percent saying that those moans are big, fat lies, and Chile and Brazil weren’t too far behind.
Again, Chile? Really? But despite this, Brazilians seem to fancy themselves quite the experts in bed (delusions of grandeur, I believe is the term), along with the Greeks andItalians. Spoon-feed me pasta during sex, Italy, and I’ll agree, too.
Finally, rounding out the sex-related questions, when it came to owning sex toys, England came in first place with 94 percent having at least one in their drawer of treats. Last on that list, with 50 percent living a sex toy-free life? Chile. Oh, Chile. What are we going to do will you?
It may be another four years before football fans across the globe can hoop and holler at their TV cheering on their home team, but in the meantime, we can still work on our sex game.
Brazil needs to get their act together on the field, Argentina’s Messi needs to quit sulking, and Chile, well, I love you, but you need to step it up all over the place.
As for the big winners, Germany, the sex survey results didn’t seem to include them. I guess when you’re champions of the world, how you perform in bed in secondary? Nah, I think not.