M7 Baptised ‘baby face’

NRM presidential candidate Yoweri Museveni never ceases to amuse! He has mastered the art of wining people’s hearts to the extent that some of the opposition people keep defecting almost on every rally he holds in the countryside.

baby face

First of all, he bends as low as letting people dress him in all kinds of gear including backcloth and kanzus in addition to accepting every kind of gift.

For example in Nwoya district, Museveni was given a set of leaves by a very old man and he religiously accepted them and carried them! Such behaviour according to his fans has made him their darling with some referring to him as ‘baby face’!

He has been in all over the country but his rallies unlike at the beginning have now become places of rib-breaking laughter.

Not even elderly people go without having exposed their teeth at least once before the rally ends!  They do this as they laugh to his home-made stories!

The reason is simple! Candidate Museveni has become a parable teller of sorts.

Of recent, he has coined a very practical yet soft parable as he tries to go about alleged corruption in government mainly local government.

In trying to address this matter, Museveni has coined the parable of rats and millet. Here we go!

On average, Museveni holds four rallies a day though occasionally, he holds five rallies a day.

On a beautiful day, Museveni turns up for the first rally at about 3pm.

He first holds several meetings at home before boarding his machine to arrive at the rally.

His first rally usually takes him between 45 minutes.

He will find his SFC boys having combed the whole area and prepared his seat in the VIP tent.

However, something strange is happening these days! First of all, Museveni rarely sits in his prepared chair in the VIP tent.

The only opportunity for him to sit in it is when there are defectors.

The chair will be brought from where it was placed in the VIP tent and placed among the defectors to allow them pose for a photo with their new political head Museveni.

When this is done, he vanishes to the next rally.

Besides the chair, these days the president has become too native and a bit ‘unpatriotic’.

Gone are the days when he used to arrive for rallies and the crowds are subjected to singing the national anthem and that of East African Anthem!

At the beginning of his rallies, these anthems would be played every time the man from Rwakitura arrived! However, these days, this is history.

That is not enough. Even prayers no longer matter at the rallies.

Those who wish to have the anthems played or prayers said must do it before he arrives lest they will not be heard anywhere on his rallies.

For sure, those who prayed in the first rallies after the campaigns started, had turned their chances of delivering the word of God into begging opportunities.

Some would be heard asking for transport while others would spend a lot of time giving sermons.

All this is now no more! When Museveni arrives, he goes straight to the podium and he is invited to address the people within seconds!

When Janet is around, Museveni brightens his rally by asking her to first ‘greet’ the people.

With smiles written all over her cheeks and also those of Museveni, Janet throws her lone question to the fans asking those who will vote for mzee to rise up their hands!

The fans do this in affirmative and with wild cheers! She ends her statement with ‘God Bless You All’ to which they respond ‘Amen’! Political pundits in NRM told us that Janet’s acts as a morale boaster at Museveni’s rallies because when she leaves the podium, the crowds are more excited and eager to listen to what Museveni says!

In other words, she prepares their minds for the word of Mzee!

Museveni usually addresses people on three issues.

Unity, development and wealth creation. However, of recent, he cannot leave the podium without talking about rats in government and local government.

He has coined his parable of rats that steal his millet from the granary.

According to Museveni, as a farmer, he plants his millet, harvests it and keeps it in the granary.

However, if some millet is stolen by rats, this doesn’t stop him from growing more millet in the next season.

Instead, he widens on the size of the garden to increase on his productivity.

In the meantime, Museveni says he will go to the market and buy traps to trap the rats or more pussies [cats] to deal with the rats.

Museveni’s parable of rats which leaves the fans in wild excitement is in reference to corruption in local governments.

He says he brings money which he gives to CAOs.

The CAOs are supposed to distribute this money to sub-counties.

He therefore wonders how the thieves are able to steal the money.

Using the rats’ parable, Museveni has left several CAOs in total embarrassments because he summons them to the podium and grills them on how rats are able to steal his millet.

Every CAO he has summoned to podium has failed to give a convincing answer to him on how rats steal the millet.

On Saturday, Mubende district CAO Kiberu John nearly fainted on the podium as Museveni grilled him before  the voters.

Another CAO of Mityana Edith Turyasasira had started developing teary eyes before Museveni let her off the hook.

In other districts like Hoima, Kyenjojo and Kibaale, he embarrassed the RDCs on rats but since he began Buganda, he started on CAOs! Besides CAOs, Museveni also blames voters for voting sleepy LC3s and LC5s because these are supposed to monitor and supervise every millet government sends to the district.

Shockingly, some fans have turned the rats’ parable into the vulgar song done by local artist ‘Capt. Doola’ whose song called ‘EMMESE’ trended last year on media!