MEATY FEES! Mr. Hyena preys on neighbour stranded with tuition for her gal

The last school term, I’ve boned nine mothers to help them pay school fees for their children.

 This prompted me to concur with people, who say that if children knew what their mothers go through to support them, these children would pay more respect.

I have on several times seen mothers using their mouths to pull eminyira from baby’s blocked noses, something I can’t do. But thanks to mama’s love, they can go through hell plus do anything for their offspring.

Over the years, I’ve boned lots of your wives, sengas, sisters and other female relatives to help them give their children better lives.

Lots of girls are working as maids in cities or middle east thanks to me interviewing their mothers in bed.

The full reopening of schools found a lot of parents very broke. Some fathers had even run away from their responsibilities, leaving their wives to hustle and tussle their children.

Yes, we have UPE, but a lot of parents couldn’t afford the little development fee required to keep the schools healthy.

The majority of schools under this program ask for less than 100k per child if the child is in secondary school and 50k for a primary school pupil. That money covers lunch or breakfast and helps maintain the schools.

But you find inconsiderate parents scoffing at how school management cheats them when Sevo declared education free.

Those and related factors have since helped me chew one of my neighbor’s wife Mrs. Byaruhanga. Their senior three daughter Grace, got pregnant towards the end of 2020. Byaruhanga blamed the wife for spoiling his children and he mourned the money he had wasted on Grace.

Like most illiterate parents in the country, Byaruhanga vowed to never ever waste a penny on his daughters. That he was tired of making losses.

Insha Allah, Grace gave birth to a healthy child, but the responsible guy who was a boda rider had long run away, leaving the Byaruhangas to suffer, not only with their daughter, but the grandchild as well.

Now, it so happened, I had begged chubby Mrs. Byaruhanga to give me ko, but she had refused. All my pimps in the village declared her a mean woman. Some said, Byaruhanga had bewitched her, hence not  ever letting any other man set foot in her wetland.

On Christmas eve, I bumped into her and begged her to give me Xmas only for her to counter ask for the same from me.

“Hyena it’s you with money!” she exclaimed. We got talking and somehow the conversation reached the nearby schools reopening.

She lamented how she was too broke that her children were not going back to school. On hearing that, I was like “how can someone with hands, legs and a brain claim to be broke!”

Only for her to reply telling me how she works hard, but the two previous seasons had failed.

“Hmmmm….you’re among those that still wait for seasons! Well, even Jesus wasn’t a crop farmer. Why then do you expect to benefit from a trade Jesus avoided? My humble advise to you is use what you have to get what you want,” I said in a low tone.

Only for Mrs. Byaruhanga to ask what I meant.

I bluntly told her to give me ko and I help her pay school fees for Grace. “Have a nice day Mr. Hyena,”she walked away. “Eee go!” I silently screamed. “Even in Mulago there are no free things,” I thought. I walked on, preyed on available women and somehow thrust Mrs. Byaruhanga to the back of my brain.

But come seventh January, she ‘cut me off’ if you allow me use that lingo.

Around 11am, I was home de-worming my goats when she came visiting.

After formalities, she helped us de-worm amidst, “but why don’t you kumpereka at least one goat?”

From de-worming, we got time to sit down and talk that’s when Mrs. Byaruhanga begged me to help her with a loan to clear school fees for Roger – her other child stating he was very smart. Only for me to ask if Grace’s school fees were covered.

Despite foreseeing here the conversation was leading, I played dumb. I asked how much money she needed and what security she had.

“I want 200k, but, I don’t have security. However, I pay after harvesting. Am a trustworthy person,” she said.

The woman had come for a loan, but was kulola like an angel tempting St. Michael. We wasted several minutes talking about the loan process. Further confirming Mrs. Byaruhanga hadn’t come for just a loan.

Finally, I told her how I was to only help on condition, she gives me ko. “But Hyena, can’t you play good Samaritan!” she scoffed giving me the opportunity to tell her “even in Mulago there are no free things.” I then asked why she expected them from me.

“I’ve lusted for you since I arrived in this village, but you’ve instead decided to starve me while giving others,” I cried only to be asked, “which others?”

 And I was, “your husband and other men like.”

In response, Mrs. Byaruhanga was like “apart from my hubby…….no man in this village has ever even seen where I urinate!” That she wasn’t the kind who kwegabangula. “Am not like mama Sande,” She yapped.

On hearing that, I asked what her bottom line was. “Give me a loan, I will pay after harvesting,” she said.

 It was January meaning she had not even planted the crops. To that, I was, “When you get serious, we shall talk.”

To that Mrs. Byaruhanga replied asking, “what if, I give you ko and you don’t fulfill your part of the deal. You may even go gossiping about me.”

My enzymes melted. I felt a cool breeze sweep through me. In fact, I may have grown goose bumps as well.

To avoid saying something, that could kill my opportunity, I cleared my throat then said “am a gentleman, if you don’t tell, I won’t.”

Since she had already agreed, she was, “I’ve agreed, but I hope I don’t get to regret this.” Further melting my enzymes. I humbly assured her, she had nothing to worry about. “Ok!” Mrs. Byaruhanga replied in a dry tone.

“When will you be ready?” I asked in a soft sweet tone. Having come with her equipment – read bearded meat; Mrs. Byaruhanga was “you tell me.”

Keeping in mind the ‘omulalu wakuwera wolira’, I couldn’t risk giving her the time to think and change her mind, so I was, “is today okay with you?”

The answer to which was, “no problem, but you will wear two anti-viruses.” Prompting me to ask why. “I don’t trust you,” She bluntly said.

Next I was, “let’s go in the house” only for her to be like “hmmm! In the house!” she then asked which house. And I was “that one.” Mrs. Byaruhanga gave me an eye which was followed by a hmm which sounded more like a sigh then said “I can’t go in there. Do you want your workers to go gossiping.”

On hearing that, I was “is the bush okay with you?” making her giggle. Then she Hmmed again before begging me to get serious. “Do I look like those young girls they take to bushes!”

To which I replied asking where her kind are taken. “Go ask your grandmother,” She replied. Meanwhile, all muscles in my body had heated up and expanded to full capacity.

Minus wasting more time, I gave Mrs. Byaruhanga 10k for a boda to ferry her to Hoima town gave her waiting location. Like an hour later, we were eating pizza as she told me how I was a lucky man because I was to be the second man to ever sink my spear in her abyss.

Since we are still mourning Fr. Lokodo, I won’t go into details of what we did. After enjoying, we did shopping for Grace and Roger bought books, pens and other scholastic materials as well as a bra and matching knickers for my woman.

The whole operation consumed my 150k. Shortly after parting ways, mama Zaina of Bweyogerere called asking if  my daughter wouldn’t be going back to school.

It’s her daughter, I don’t even know the father, but mama Zaina and I have a sex for school fees arrangement.

We agreed to meet the following weekend.

So guys, if you’ve not been taking advantage of that, better start and hopefully, fill us in on the juicy details.


Till then, I remain your truly, Mr.Hyena.



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