RAW HUMOUR! How Mr. Hyena survived sister-in law trap

I was almost nabbed chewing my sister – in – law. God indeed protects his sinners. After Hafiswa had jealously told Hamida about yours truly and their sister Nabirye Halima and their maama tipped me off; I started drafting my defence and guards. Now Hamida is the kind that prefers handling matters very privately.

She left work early that day and shortly after 6pm called informing me – her being home and waiting for me. As for Hafiswa, she called and informed me how my head was to be chopped off. “Chopped off! Why?” I asked to which she was “you know all your crimes.”

In response, I told her to go take a chill pill because all would be fine “and by the way the Baganda say lw’oyagaliza mukakitawo luuta nnyoko!” I broke off the call to avoid saying incriminating stuff.

Later on, I was warmly welcomed home by our two kids whilst their mother wore a somewhat mean face. She was preparing supper. As someone who had committed a crime, I had to be on the highest guard as well as be super observant.

As the 9pm news started Hamida announced the water was ready. But she very well knew my love for the news. So getting up to go bath could have meant I was guilty of something. “Let’s first listen to the news,” I said to which she replied complaining how the water was becoming cold.

“We are even tired. We want to eat and sleep…..the kids have to be up very early in the morning for school,” she guffed. In response I suggested she bathes then serves food, I would bath after eating and listening to the news.

But she waited as she had always waited for me. Ever since we started cohabiting, we have bathed together. That her ssenga insisted on it. Anyways, after listening to three news clips, I got up and went to the bathroom. We bathed normally, prompting me to wonder what Hamida was planning.

Did she really intend to harm me as Hafiswa had said? By the way, I had told Uchumi to call me every two hours to make sure I wasn’t killed.

From bathing dinner was served and enjoyed. After which the kids were ordered to go to their beds. I was now waiting for the TV news only to see Hamida kneeling before me.”Oooh God! She wants to chop off my animal.” I thought. But she was “sweetheart, there is something I want to ask of you. Promise you will do it for me.”

“If it’s something in my power,” I shot back. “Honey, Allah gave men liberty to enjoy all the women on earth. And I know you have very many of them. But there are some women begging you not to chew. Please and please my love, leave my sisters alone! I am on my knees humbly requesting you.”

In response I asked what in all the world had made her think, I was chewing or even planning to chew her sisters. “Did any of them or even anyone tell you I am doing such a thing?” Only for her to deceive me how she had dreamt three times now. And in the dreams I was chewing one of her sisters.

I almost exploded with laughter. “Come again!” And she said “yes, three times now.” To which I was “how come you never told me? Which one? Yes, the ones you work with or madam or nurse or Nalongo?”

“I won’t tell you which one, but if you’ve been chewing any of them, I beg you to stop right now. In most cases, My dreams are true. When I dreamed of you and the fuel pump Monster, it turned out to be true. Even this may be true.”

To that,I was “and when you dreamt doing hijja while you were pregnant with our first kid. Did it happen?” I then advised her to stop being insecure. “I returned the guns to the gombolola chief. And if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t go for my sisters – in – law.”

Next I asked if her asking for my phone was to check for her sisters communications.”Yes.” She positively replied, giving me the courage to ask what her findings were. “Nothing! You probably erased it.” To that, I suggested, she should check her sisters phones.

Next I told her how I thought she was horny and needing serious servicing hence insisting on sleeping over. “As a matter of fact, when you knelt between my legs, I thought you were going to lollipop me.”Hamida responded by pulling her face backwards. Her eyes opened widest before lips blossomed into a big smile.

“Hahaha…..but my husband apart from sex, is there anything else you think of?”To that I was “but still I was right. Because your main point of calling me over is sex related.”Next I told her if she didn’t lollip me, I was going to fulfill her dreams by going for her sisters.

“Go for them. I will catch you and beat the both of you.” Her tone relaxed and lively. She then raised up and pulled me by the whopper. “Come let’s go to bed.” To which I was “but I was still going to watch the news.” That prompted “of the news and me, what do you like the most?”

“Let’s go.” I said, spanking her booty.”Stop it……Ojja kunkoza!”She bubbled. “African women! You don’t know modern love. Spanking is foreplay.”To which Hamida replied telling me to leave African women alone and go spank white women who know love.

I replied telling her white women were not as sweet as Africans. “Don’t you see that even their broiler chickens are not as delicious as the locals. They even look cold to me, I love warm belles like you.”

Several steps on, we were in the master bedroom. I spread on the mazongotogranting her full access to my lions. She snaked on top of me face to face and asked if I had ever chewed ko a white woman.

“I will be lying if I say Yes.” I deceived. But she didn’t fall for my lie. “You probably have but just don’t want to tell me.” To which I asked why and she was “you fear I won’t give you ko.” And I was “Eeeh you mean if my answer was yes, you wouldn’t let me smash your calabash?”

Thrusting that aside, she locked our lips for a French kiss which I enjoyed massaging her jiggly booty. A cool breeze swept through me. My whole body kind of relaxed and I somewhat forgot all my worries.

Breaking lips apart she asked when was the last time, I chewed a sumbie, her face locked on mine. And I gave her a what kind of question is that face. “What do you mean?” I asked and she was “I mean when was the last time you inserted this” she pressed the anaconda before saying”in another woman!”

It’s only a silly polygamious man that would answer that. So I gave her the very answer I usually give chicks who dare ask such dumb questions. “That’s none of your business. All that matters is am here with you now.”

On hearing that, she told me how she too would no longer lollipop a whopper that’s always entering other grottoes. “I will end up getting tongue cancer or something of the sort.”

We were interrupted by Uchumi’s call. “The client of Wakiso has just called, he wants to see the house tomorrow morning.” Uchumi lied. He had only called to confirm, I was still alive and well.

We got busy I worked her microscopically that in less than ten minutes she was singing melodies like “Mylove……..ownerofmytrove!Kisserofmylips.Destroyerofmyanimal……………mywombshaker……….spankerofmybooty.MyZaddy…….sweetestmanonearth…….only man on earth…….mysugar…….sugar Zaddy. Baby………..Mr.Stamina, owner of a mega skewer. I’ve missed your skewer. Make me useless baby. Kill me if you so wish. May all men on earth die but you.”

I soldiered on until she had a whole body orgasm that reset her mind and refreshed her brain. As always, her body lost energy and she lay like a jointless doll prompting me to ask if she had cum. “Tonjiganga?” She asked back. But then went on to answer my question “Yes, I have.” Then asked if I wasn’t feeling her supu.

I froze, letting her enjoy her moment. She closed her eyes and drifted to a happy land. I rolled up in such a way she ended up on top. And for a while, she rested soundly. Our gadgets are still connected.

And for like ten minutes, we were in that state. Her heart was beating rapidly and loudly as she breathed like she had just out run Satan. Upon returning, she excused herself and went for a hand basin and bottle of soda that She used to wash the anaconda.

“Why is it still standing?” She asked politely and I was “because it’s still hungry.”For wasting a precious commodity soda, as I was “Kale mujjoga…..people elsewhere are starving and you’re here wasting soda!” To that, Hamida said she hadn’t finished the sodas at the shops.

Next was her using soda to wash the grotto, then snaking on top of mwah.”Do you still want me a lollipop?” She asked well, knowing the answer. Uponsaying yes, Hamida asked what I benefit from lollipops. “It’s a man’s thing no woman can understand it.But it’s more than women benefit when their camel toes are eaten.”

Without much ado, she turned her back to my face, sat in my chest before coiling for a sixty nine. Of course my eyes were alert for any signs of a sharp object that cut off my animal. But nothing of the sort was around.

In a blink of an eye, we were in full love making mode. She did everything womanly possible to make me fire, but the balls were solid frozen like rocks. So she volunteered to give me a doggie which we enjoyed right away.

But after like four minutes of banging and her vuvuzela fratting, she collapsed flat on the bed. What else could I do other than sink my knees between her legs for a flirtation.

Like three minutes of that sexicited and diluted her brain. “I was deceiving you, I didn’t dream of you with any of my sisters.” Hamida hissed as I gently glidded forth and back. And I was “okay. Why then did you even think of something like that?” To which she replied saying “it was Hafiswa that told me.” I froze and was like “mulamu Hafiswa?”

“Do I have any other Hafiswa?” Hamida asked. I laughed and laughed. “She dreamed of me chewing who?” I asked. To which Hamida was “she didn’t dream, but supposedly saw you and Halima. That she’s been monitoring the both of you. That you love each other and have been giving her gifts as well as chewing her in lodges.”

Playing Mr. Very concerned, I pulled out”come again!” I exclaimed sitting properly and asked “why on earth did she make such baseless allegations!” I exclaimed. Then went on like”Oooh poor Halima! What did she say when you comforted her?”

Hamida replied telling me – she hadn’t comforted Halima, that she had checked her phone for evidence, but nothing so far. On Hearing that, I asked what her conclusions were. “Am not sure, but I will keep an eye on you.”

Upon hearing that, I told my wife that it wasn’t Halima she should worry about. “Of all your sisters there is only one, I have sexual feelings for.” I said well expecting her to ask who it was. Andas expected, she did ask.

“Mulamu Hajara.” I said driving Hamida into wild laughter before saying “nawe tulekemu!” Next she asked what on earth I liked about Hajara. You see, Hajara is the dumbest looking in their family. It’s like she was molded using waste materials, but she has a beautiful voice and a jiggly booty.

“She has a sweet romantic voice.” I pointed out something she already told me. “How about me? How’s my voice?” Hamida scoffed and I was “yours is the worst.” For that she kunsuna saying “kasita nze nkuyina.”

“Should I tell you something funny?” I asked well knowing she would wanna know whatever I had to say. “One timeI dreamt of chewing one of your sisters.” I said and she was “which one?” But I was “it was only a dream.” Only for Hamida to say “yes, I know I am only asking who it was.”

“Nurse.” I lied. Truth be told, I had never dreamt of any of her sisters, I only lied to deter her from ever suspecting anything about Halima.

Now Nurse lives in Bugiri and we’ve only met three times. And it’s hard for us to meet. Nurse is one of the women she can least be jealous about. Before her brains could cool down, I asked who of her sisters she would be willing to share me with. The answer to which was “NONE!”That she didn’t want her sisters dying of her aids.

“Can I tell you a top secret?” I asked well knowing she would be yes. I made her swear that she would never ever tell until the people involved told themselves. “Walahi billah talahi…..I will never tell.” Hamida swore. “Uchumi is courting Halima. But it’s still a secret, he has never told me, but I see them. Several times she’s called him while I was with his phone.”

We rested then later made more love techniques like Amazon, doggie and lots of akembarara as well as magic mountain were redefined. And as all that was happening fifty percent of me thought of Halima.

“If this woman got wind of it, her guard won’t go down. She will keep suspecting us. We have to change plans.Henceforth, we shall be doing it in town.” I silently thought as I enjoyed Hamida’s sumbie at 5am. After enjoying ourselves, she once again knelt down and thanked me for a job well done.

This she’s been doing from day one, and it seems it runs in the family because even her sisters kneel after I’ve danced them anyways, let’s meet tomorrow as I feel you in on sweet Halima’s delicious sumbie.

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