RAW HUMOUR! Mr. Hyena spills secrets in a tell-all exclusive interview with US scribe Virginia Kamana
Several months ago, our Mr. Hyena sat down with an American based journalist Virginia Kamana and discussed a lot of issues from politics to bedroom medleys, here is what we extracted from their conversation.
Virginia Kamana: Who is Mr. Hyena and where exactly are you from?
Hyena: It’s like you’ve not been following my tale. Iam Sabarongo (title given to a father of more than three sets of twins) Hyena Atwooki aka Man who never crosses a river, lake or swamp without first dipping in his biological spear alias Pregnancy Specialist Musaija Tabarwa Nzaro, Iam a fun loving Ugandan who was born in Bunyoro.
Virginia Kamana: How many belles have you slept with plus how many children do you have?
Hyena: A lot….I lost count in 2008 when I had filled several black books, however; on average, I’ve been chewing three belles daily from the time I was in primary six. Not to mention chewing not less than seven belles daily for three years when I was still a witch doctor’s assistant. If you like, I can take you to my secret place where I keep souvenirs, you would count. About the children, in my culture we don’t count children, but for the record I am in great Genghis Khan’s league. If you have friends whom other men have failed to impregnate, point them in my direction.
Virginia Kamana: You’ve been having sex since you were in primary six, were ain’t you too young to be doing that?
Hyena: I chewed my science teacher when I was in primary five. Yes, I was young, but I am one of those kids that grew up too early. I grew up around gangs of older sexually active boys, guys and men who among other things sent us to call them chicks. I saw goats, cattle and other animals doing it plus teachers taught us fertilization so I experimented.
Virginia Kamana: Hahahaha……..I will recommend a couple. So, You were a witch doctor’s assistant, boning not less than seven belles daily! You mean to tell me that sexually starved women go to witch doctors for treatment? Wasn’t that very tiresome and did he pay you per woman, daily, weekly or monthly?
Hyena: Very! It’s the most tiresome job I’ve ever done. There are some juju sickness or ceremonies which require having sex. I.e: inserting sweetness in women. I was paid peanuts and per client cleansed, but got to bone a lot. Half of them infected me with STDs.
Virginia Kamana: Is it an addiction and what do you gain from sleeping with a lot of belles?
Hyena: It’s a hobby and a calling not an addiction and I again do a lot of things, first and foremost, meeting new people. Secondly, appreciating God’s ingenuity. Like our minister, there are women I meet and want to see the story behind the attractions God put on them. Thirdly, It’s some kind of worship of God. Plus it has a lot of health benefits. Experts say, people who have sex a lot are at less risk of having heart problems plus a lot of other complications.
Virginia Kamana: What advice do you give men reading this?
Hyena: Pull up your stockings, a lot of men under perform, they don’t satisfy their women. 30% of married women I’ve boned tell me of how it’s sexual starvation that drives them to have side dishes. A lot of men are on a mission to download, not satisfying their partners yet satisfying and understanding a woman’s preferences is key to a healthy relationship.
Virginia Kamana: What advice do you give your female fans?
Hyena: Drink a lot of water, take care of your troves. Stay away from boda riders, musicians and other celebrities to avoid STDs. Stay moisturized. I will be with you any time. Also be freaky, men prefer women who are humble like nuns or princesses in public but freaky bitches in private.
Virginia Kamana: What do you say to people who say you have a naughty mind?
Hyena: I just have a sexy imagination and luck.
Virginia Kamana: How is it that all women you approach accept when other men are not so lucky?
Hyena: Actually a lot reject my advances, however; in the tale, I focus on the ones who accept. If all women I beg accepted, I would have boned half the women in this country.
Virginia Kamana: What’s the secret to your success?
Hyena: Looking innocent and sexual starved. Most Women prefer giving ko men that seem sexually starved or innocent looking be it that man is married.
Virginia Kamana: Your last word.
Hyena: If wishes were horses, you would let me wash your beautiful feet tonight.
Virginia Kamana: Hahahaha………wow! That would be nice, but it would be against my professional code of conduct. Besides, I can’t handle your equipment. Thirty one centimeters if I remember correctly!
Hyena: But, I didn’t say we would be having sex….just washing your feet is all I wish for.
Virginia Kamana: Hahahaha….Mr. Hyena, I know you very well please spare me don’t look at me like that.
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