WHERE THERE’S A WILL: Reflections on late Club Guvnor Publicist and socialite Pherrie Kim

By Sarah Ngabi

There’s death and assets to bequeath. Depressing I know, contemplating that our time on earth is limited.

Late Club Guvnor Publicist and Socialite Pherrie Kimbugwe said it better. “Someday, we’re all gonna die,” so by all means, write a Will if you haven’t already.

I’m working on mine, even though there’s not really much to give away. Pherrie’s cancer was terminal and in cases like that, you know the end is coming as opposed to sudden death.

I guess the former pushes you to make your last wishes known but that’s not enough. You have to put it in writing because even with a Will, your friends and family could still flout it, but better some documentation than nothing at all.

When I first heard accounts of Pherrie’s Will, I have to say I thought it was preposterous and you’ll excuse me for being judgmental but if I were stricken by a terminal illness, the least of my worries would be who would be documenting my funeral, but again, I understand that we’re different and I guess if you’re going to die, you might as well go out in style.

Lest anybody misconstrues this by the way, her passing in October saddened me too, especially because she died so young at only 47. I didn’t know her personally but we attended the same school. She was a couple of years ahead when I enrolled at Nabisunsa Girls’ School so I was shocked that my OG who seemed so full of life just a few months prior had passed away.

Rich kids stood out in our school as in any other, I imagine. You know, the ones who bought the most expensive snacks at break time and rarely ate the bland school food the rest of us clamored for, and come VD, Pherrie’s family’s affluence was apparent.

Her Mom and Aunties certainly exuded wealth. I remember her Mom especially coordinated everything. The nail polish, hair, jewelry, handbag, outfit and shoes always matched so when I saw the fashionista Pherrie turned out to be, I knew she got it from her Mama.

I would check Pherrie’s Facebook updates just to see what she was wearing and now I’m wondering what will happen to all those gorgeous outfits and accessories. I’m sure she had it all planned out.

Same thought I had when Queen Elizabeth II passed away last September. I don’t think she wore the same outfit more than once so all those necklaces, dresses, coats, hats and scarves would probably fill Buckingham Palace! They’ll likely be auctioned off in years to come.

Speaking of clothes, 3/4 of my wardrobe is secondhand clothes. No shame admitting that. Mivumba are not just affordable but offer a variety regarding style. I’ve never found a secondhand piece of clothing I own in an all new clothes boutique or apparel store in Kampala and trust me, I’ve checked.

That, plus the fact that these days, you don’t even have to go downtown to pick out the clothes. Vendors find you right at your house or office and I’m all for convenience. I have Chanel, ZARA and even Gucci pieces that I would never be able to afford off the runway.

Some friends and I joke that we’re probably wearing dead people’s clothes but I also know lots of people who just choose to donate and that’s how some of those clothes end up here.

My mivumba collection has about 8 suitcases. I wonder who I’d leave those to. I have three nieces who just hit puberty. One’s a snob even though she has no reason to be since her parents, grandparents and great grandparents weren’t even remotely close to middle class but I know she wouldn’t be caught wearing my clothes.

My other niece would probably pick out some outfits but then she’s a bit wasteful and I know she’d probably discard them after a while, which breaks my heart because some of my outfits are really cute.

As for the third girl, we don’t have the kind of relationship where we would even talk about sharing clothes so she can’t be a beneficiary. My church does accept donations so maybe I should let my Pastor know that when I go, my clothes which by this time would be what, tenth hand? Are certainly up for grabs.

Speaking of charity, you’ve probably heard of those wealthy people who bequeath their millions to charity. Glad my Dad is not rich because I’d hate to contest his Will if he pulled something like that!

Just remembered the late Kato Lubwama whose wishes regarding his funeral were quite elaborate too. That week-long vigil suited his persona I guess but personally, I want a quick funeral. Would hate to burden my grieving relatives, assuming they would indeed be grieving. Accommodating and feeding mourners for days is no joke.

I’m torn about condolence contributions. I just don’t like how some people profit off these days. I wouldn’t berate anyone for not offering money as I’ve failed to make any contribution at some friends’ and even family’s funerals on occasion.

As for flashy caskets, pall bearers and such, I think all that is extra. When you’re dead, you’re dead so why not keep things simple? I’d actually like to be cremated. I’ve mentioned this a couple of times to my family, but my parents will have none of it.

I’m kind of shy and honestly have never been comfortable in my skin so the thought of mourners filing past my casket actually bothers me. If you don’t look good alive, you probably won’t look good dead so to avoid all those insecurities, and the possibility of being exhumed and my poor remains relocated to some random cemetery 20 or so years from now with all these incessant land grabs, I figured I should just be cremated.

My ashes? Couldn’t care less where they end up really. If the crematorium can keep them, why not? Pherrie urged her loved ones not to shed any tears for her. I think I actually want some tears shed for me. I’m not asking anyone to weep uncontrollably or roll around in the mud but a few tears from close friends and family, come on. It shows that at least someone misses me.

Consider this my Will.