Relationships Talk with Edna; Reasons why getting back together with your ex is a truly terrible idea

By Edna Aryatuha

Getting back with your ex can be a really traumatizing experience for your mental health.

That period right after the breakup can be extremely difficult, especially if you parted ways on bad terms. Over time, things do get better and you begin to heal emotionally. This, however, doesn’t mean that you don’t miss the time you spent with your former partner and the memories you made together. At times, such thoughts might even result in you doubting the decision to break up.

These memories and the emotions you attach to them are experienced quite commonly. Hence, you’ll find many couples who get back together after a massive break up. What happens after that, though? Well, they repeat the same mistakes, behavioral patterns and end up hurting each other further. In such a situation, it is definitely not advisable to get back with your ex because it will result in prolonging emotional trauma.

These are important reasons as to why you need to avoid getting back with your ex for the sake of your mental health:

You would be settling

It doesn’t matter who initiated the breakup, the bottom line is that it happened. It happened because it wasn’t serving anyone well. Maybe you thought it isn’t working out or that you deserve better. So, going back to the same person now would be a clear case of settling, denying yourself the happiness and mental peace you deserve.

Some things do not change

The basic nature of a person doesn’t change overnight. You shouldn’t fall for any changes that you notice. You might get into the same cycle and situations. If you’re in such a situation, it is important to ask yourself why these changes didn’t come about when you were still together. This question will put things in perspective for you.

It can get emotionally abusive

Imagine you’re back with your ex. Now what? It could result in your partner taking you for granted and putting you through the same emotional distress knowing fully well that you will come back to them. This is clearly a form of emotional abuse that you need to cut out of your life.

You will end up in the same cycle

You’ve probably noticed people breaking up, getting back together and then separating all over again. If anything, you’ve been a part of such a cycle yourself. Fall back on your experience instead of repeating the same mistake and making this cyclic. It is only going to cost you your mental sanity.

It might feel like an emotionally heavy task

When things are complicated, getting back with your ex can feel like a task that will leave you emotionally drained. You might be putting in extra emotional effort this time to make things work. Investing your time and energy might result in ignoring your mental health.

Unresolved issues might come back

You broke up for a reason. Ask yourself if it was addressed and solved properly. If your answer is no, there’s a high chance that it will very much be a part of your equation with your former partner. Spare yourself the trouble, especially if your ex is not willing to resolve the issue.

You Both Had Trust Issue

So, the most fundamental thing in a relationship is trust. If one couldn’t trust another, they will only be apart. Also, having trust with someone else is hard to maintain because once they break, they break forever. Indeed, maybe that’s what happened with you and your lover before you guys fell apart. You guys have trust issues, so the relationship is not going to work out.

Your Ex Didn’t Care

Your ex didn’t care that you want them so much. Your ex didn’t care if you made them breakfast with love. Your ex didn’t care that you wanted to dance over songs on the radio. Your ex didn’t care when you were staring at the eyes of love. Your ex didn’t care about you at all, so just step back and find someone who appreciates and loves you with all heart.

Your Ex Was A Bad Idea

It’s not a judgmental statement! But, if your ex was good enough, then why do you guys fall apart? I mean, if your ex was good enough for you, then he/she must be still here with you listening to favorite songs till the late A.M. If your ex wasn’t a bad idea, they would never let you down.

It’s not your mistake. Maybe your ex is just a narcissist or someone who is emotionally unstable until they hurt you to give them temporary power. Meanwhile, you can’t really blame anyone now, you just got to move on!

No Love Songs Left

The last song you heard were their steps walking out the door. Your Ex with the last words, “We can’t make it, I am sorry.” Maybe there is nothing left to make them stay. Maybe not even a real love can make them stay. So, just let it be. Let him go.

The love doesn’t spark joy anymore, so what’s the use? You can still love them on your own, but leaving them is a better option. You don’t want to be with someone who keeps making you sad, right?

Were You Happy in That Relationship?

This is just a simple question, were you happy in the relationship? Yes? NO? Well, let’s take it simpler then. If you are not happy, don’t continue it. Don’t do it anymore. Life would be happier if you only do the things that make you happy and be with the ones who make you happy, as simple as that.

 You Will Find Someone Better

You will find someone better than your ex before. You will be with someone better who wants to work for a real good relationship where you both can accept each other, love each other, till the end of the day. Amen. Don’t believe Adele when she sang, “never mind I’ll find someone like you”. No, you don’t want to be with your ex cause you need to grow with someone better. So, just please don’t go back to your ex!

GREAT WAYS TO MOVE ON FROM YOUR EX

After knowing reasons why you should never get back with your ex, here is the tips to move on:

Yeah, let the chapter off! Don’t live the past cause it would not lead you to anywhere else. Just let what happened in the past, stay in the past. Don’t remember it! Don’t!

Bygones be Bygones

Yeah, let the chapter off! Don’t live the past cause it would not lead you to anywhere else. Just let what happened in the past, stay in the past. Don’t remember it! Don’t!No matter how great your relationship was, it ended that way. You can’t call it back. You ex, or someone you had a story with, might be not the right ones. So, let bygones be bygones!

Start New Chapter

Meanwhile, what’s the use of writing the same old story on the page that they tore up? Err. You just need a new chapter in your life with the better you, the better plots, and the better ones who would never let you down like your ex ever did.

Be Happy

Well, you have more than one hundred reasons why you should be happy. Life is never easy and that’s okay. You can create your own happiness within yourself. Get a better career. Eat food they said you need to eat before you die. Travel somewhere. Be the happy version for people around you.

Catch Up with Your Bestest Friends

Maybe you need to let go of toxic people in your life. Call your best friends and tell them to hang out. You can watch movies and buy ice creams. You can jam into Taylor swift songs talking bad stuff about your ex!

In the end of the day, there will be someone else -someone good and even better- who will love you like you deserve. So, now you know the reasons why you should never get back with your exes. Have a good love out there! Much love!

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