You might start doubting yourself when your boyfriend begins to act distant, even though everything seems to be going well in the relationship. But don’t go into panic mode just yet! People can get emotionally distant even when the relationship seems to be going perfectly.
Sometimes it’s precisely because things are going so well. Your boyfriend might be scared of facing his emotions toward you now that your relationship has gotten serious. He may be scared of commitment to the point where he considers ending the relationship instead of taking it to the next level.
Of course, it could be something else entirely. There are many potential reasons why he is being distant right now. Let’s take a good look at some of the most common:
He is stressed out about other things in his life.
Don’t stress yourself out if there’s something else going on in your boyfriend’s life that could be causing him to act this way. Often, men become distant in a relationship because their mind is occupied with something unrelated to the relationship in question.
Has he been under a lot of stress at his job? Did one of his family members get sick? Maybe you are aware of an issue in his life that requires his immediate attention. If so, this is probably why he’s been acting differently.
Whilst many women like discussing their problems with their loved ones, men often become distant in the attempt to deal with their problems alone. So, your boyfriend might simply be stressed out over something that has nothing to do with you.
What if you don’t know of any problems he might be dealing with? Well, to reiterate, men often try to deal with their problems alone to avoid seeming incompetent and weak, especially in the eyes of the women they love. So, your boyfriend could be dealing with something that he doesn’t want to talk to you about. And to avoid talking about it, he becomes distant.
For instance, maybe he has been having financial difficulties that he doesn’t want you to know about because he considers them embarrassing.
He needs alone time.
As hard as it can be to understand, people sometimes need time away from their partners. Your boyfriend has you in his life, but he probably also has a job, a family, friends, hobbies, and all sorts of other things going on as well. All of these aspects of his life require his time, attention, and energy, but he also needs some time just for himself.
Everyone needs alone time now and then, and all the different things he has going on can become overwhelming. Maybe you haven’t been acting needy, and you haven’t pushed your boyfriend to spend all of his free time with you, but he might still need some alone time.
Naturally, it would be rude if he just ghosts you and disappears for a while, so try talking to him about it. Maybe he needs more time for his hobbies or feels like he doesn’t have a life outside of the relationship. Perhaps he just wants to spend his Fridays alone in his room playing video games in his jammies and feel like a kid for a while.
The point is, he has a life outside of the relationship, and he’s entitled to it. Also, his habits have changed since he has gotten into a relationship with you, so his behavior changed too. Maybe he just needs to adjust to that and figure out how much time he wants to invest in this relationship without sacrificing his needs and responsibilities. Let him.
He isn’t sure about the relationship.
He might have doubts about the relationship and act distant because he’s reconsidering dating you. It’s not what you want to hear, but if that’s the case, you should be aware of it.
You’ll probably notice other changes in his behavior that imply this, other than being distant. He might start avoiding you to avoid confronting the problem and your reaction. Relationship doubts are normal, and “needing some time and space” can be just that. But sometimes it’s a phrase people use when they want to break up.
How can you know which one is it? Well, consider your relationship and how things have been lately. If you’re not a good match, he’s surely not the only one who has noticed that, even if you have strong feelings for him.
Don’t let your feelings cloud your judgment, and consider how he has been treating you. If he doesn’t feel the same way about you anymore, it’s going to reflect in his behavior toward you.
He wants to slow things down.
The answer to his behavior might simply be that things are moving too fast for him. Did you discuss taking your relationship to the next level just before he started acting distant? Maybe you haven’t talked about it, but your relationship has recently progressed into something more serious.
Even if your boyfriend isn’t afraid of commitment, this could scare him enough to pull away and become distant. Maybe things have become too intense, and you went from meeting each other to spending every waking hour together right away.
If you’re already acting like you’re a married couple, it’s only natural that he wants to pull away and take it slow. So, if the two of you have rushed into a serious relationship or you have been pressuring your boyfriend to take the next step, take a step back for now.
He probably isn’t thinking about ending the relationship just because things are moving too fast, but he definitely wants to slow them down, and that’s actually good for your relationship.
So, realize that you have plenty of time to get to know each other and grow your love. You don’t have to rush anything.
He is interested in somebody else.
The last thing you want to hear is that your boyfriend might be interested in someone else, but unfortunately, this is one possible explanation for his behavior. He might be distant toward you because there’s someone else on his mind. While this can mean that he’s cheating on you, it can also mean that he is interested in someone else but hasn’t done anything about it yet.
Catching feelings for two different people can be confusing enough for him to start acting distant until he figures out what he really wants. On the other hand, if he is also acting secretive and defensive, he might already be cheating on you.
Don’t panic just yet, though, because this is only one of the possible explanations, and if, other than being distant, he hasn’t given you a reason to think that he’s cheating, you shouldn’t assume that he is. Someone might have caught his eye, but even if he’s thinking about someone else, he might just be confused and wish to make sense of his feelings alone.
He is afraid of losing his independence.
The reason some men fear commitment is actually because they fear losing their freedom and independence. Your man is not afraid of being in a serious relationship with you, but he is afraid of not being allowed to have a life outside of the relationship.
The thing is, men sometimes think that getting into a serious relationship means giving up their freedom to spend time with their friends and do other things they used to do when they were single.
While your boyfriend is losing his freedom to date other people once he’s in a committed relationship with you, he shouldn’t be losing any other freedom. Help him understand that by encouraging him to spend time with his friends and on his hobbies.
Your man might just need to be reassured that he’ll have a life outside of the relationship before he feels comfortable truly committing to you.
Letting him have his independence and freedom is going to help your relationship, even if he is actually afraid of commitment. Show him that you’re not a possessive girlfriend trying to tie him down, and focus on other aspects of your life just like he does.
You did something that caused him to pull back.
In the end, something you did might have caused him to act this way. Have you been acting needy or possessive? Are you constantly afraid that he’ll leave you even though he keeps reassuring you that he’s here to stay? Do you have trouble trusting him?
It might be the reason he’s acting distant, so try talking to him about it. If there’s no other possible explanation for his change in behavior and you’re not aware of what you did, try finding out. Let him know that you want to work on your relationship and that you’ll work on your issues.
Make him feel safe to open up about what’s bothering him. You can tell him that you can’t change the things that you’re not aware of, so he should let you know what it is that you’re doing that’s causing him to pull away.
It might be an uncomfortable conversation, but it’s better to find out now than let him get even more distant until he’s no longer interested in finding a solution together.