RAW HUMOUR! Apart from those I am related to by blood, here’s why one of these days Mr.Hyena will start giving all women equal treatment


Sometime back when I used to stay in Nateete, there was this woman called Juliet who was my confidante when it came to women issues. She took it upon herself to get for me all the beautiful babes in the neighborhood. Although she was very beautiful and no doubt I felt like bonking her, I never ever asked for her fruit. I used to call her auntie Julie, and I would take to her all the babes for approval before eating them. There was a time I was not making up on my mind on whom to eat and who not to eat.

I decided to go to her place very early in the morning for some piece of advice. I found her still in bed, and I went straight to her bedroom.

“Aunt I have a problem……” before I could even complete the sentence, she angrily blurted out. “Owayee onankoya nabakazi bo buli lunaku boyogerako eeehh owaye (I am tired of your women each time you come here, it’s the same topic, I am fed up).

I apologized for the bad timing and left. I didn’t know what was wrong with her because we had been friends and I was sure I had not annoyed her in any way. Before I could get to the door, she pulled me back and ordered me to sit down. “Hyena, I am sorry I didn’t mean to talk to you like that, it’s just that I am abit stressed out,” she said.

I tried to ask her what the problem was and she did not answer but instead chose to sob. She was leaning on my shoulders and soaked my shirt with her tears. She wore a transparent night dress; I noticed her bum was shaking as she cried. I imagined the vibrations it would make if something was between her legs. I moved my legs close to hers, and I was surprised when she did not push me away. I took the chance and planted my lips on hers.

I stealthily moved my hand to her thigh land and oh my! She was hot. I removed my t-shirt and snaked myself on top of her, I froze for sometime wondering if what I was about to do was right for both of us. “Aunt Julie are you sure this is what you want me to do? I asked.

She nodded and I knew I was not wrong in my decision. I went down on her and teasingly played with her twinnies which were very long and tasty. I could clearly tell that she was enjoying every move I made, and that day I did it with a lot of passion.

“Uncle, tetukyuse kko kukasitayiro?” (Uncle, shouldn’t we change on the style?) She begged. Of course I did it to her whatever she wanted me to do. “Hyena you are the strongest guy I have ever met,” she said. “All along, I have been hearing stories from babes around, I wanted to tell you but I did not know how to,” she added. We kept in each other’s arms and I did not say a word. “Hyena, tokigamba omuntu Hyena tujja kuswala,” (Hyena never let anyone know about our escapades), she said.

I promised to keep it a secret and left her house immediately. I went home very confused about what goes on at the back of women’s minds. I couldn’t believe I had been in Aunt Julies legs. I went back home confused and found Maria one of my girlfriends waiting for me. She was busy telling me about her undying love for me. I did not care, I had better things on my mind, and I had to get a cover up for my shame.

I suggested to Aunt Julie to marry me, she accepted and we started moving officially. We were supposed to have introduced on 23rd February, 2019 but I could not stand any commitment. A week before our introduction, I left Nateete and relocated myself somewhere in Buziga. I changed my phone line and made sure she does not get to trace where I could have shifted to. Auntie Julie, I know I disappointed you so much but I promise to marry you as soon as I am able. Why don’t we meet tomorrow on this very page and discuss our wedding plans.

Till then, I remain yours truly, Mr. Hyena.


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